Expecting

Well, hopefully this will explain my clear lack of posting these last 4 MONTHS. Yes, we are expecting! We have been a little cautious about sharing our news this time. It has been difficult in the past when we have gotten everyone so excited and then miscarried. After several visits to the doctor and hearing and seeing the heartbeat lots of times, we are feeling more confident this little one is going to make it.

We found out we were expecting on August 12th. I have been participating in a low-dose aspirin study and was supposed to take a pregnancy test the day before my appointment. I had taken a pregnancy test two days earlier and it was negative, so I wasn't expecting it to be positive. I was totally shocked to see the positive result. The funny thing about it was I looked in the garbage for the test I had taken two days earlier and it was positive. I just hadn't waited long enough for the reading. I think I was just sure it would be the same negative result I had been seeing for months.

It was about 5:30 in the morning and I excitedly woke Keith up to tell him the news. I called my doctor that morning and he had me come in later that week. There wasn't too much he could see yet, so he had me come in the following week. At that point, things were looking normal, so I was scheduled to come in a few weeks later. At 6 1/2 weeks we had a high resolution ultrasound (perk of the EAGeR trial) and heard and saw the baby's heartbeat. I remember it was 124 bpm. It was a surreal moment. We had never seen a heartbeat before.

Since then, things have progressed normally. At our last appointment yesterday, the baby's heartbeat was 150 bpm! My doctor reassures me not to worry, but it is difficult. I have worried about this little baby ever day, every hour, every minute these last 4 months. I think I will always feel this way. But it is all worth it and we are looking forward to April when we will meet our new little one.

I am due April 16th and we will find out what we are having in 3 weeks! I have a few ultrasound pictures, but it is pretty hard to see anything. I will post the next ones we get.

It has been a difficult year and a half, but I am confident we all have trials in our life for a reason. I have learned that the only things that really matter are family and close friends. I have learned that people may say or do things that hurt us, but only WE can internalize those things. I know prayer can bring healing. This quote has brought me comfort:

"I wonder if we can ever really fathom the immense power of prayer until we encounter an overpowering, urgent problem and realize that we are powerless to resolve it. Then we will turn to our Father in humble recognition of our total dependence on Him. It helps to find a secluded place where our feelings can be vocally expressed as long and as intensely as necessary." - Richard G. Scott